Jailbirds
by RedPen
Summary: Fujin and Seifer finally get it: because of their actions in supporting sorceruss Edea, taht have been to confined to the Desert Prison. Stuff happens. Hilarity ensures. Fujin eat tuna casserole. Rajin seems to have disapeered from the author's memory....


Fujin pouted, and Seifer groaned as he looked at her. She was angry with him. Well, who wouldn't be? He had gotten her stuck in the securest jailhouse in the country. A jailhouse he had once been in control of. "SEIFER, STUPID" Her voice echoed through the small steel compartment. Seifer winced. Yup, she was angry. "Ok! Ok, I know Fuj. Relax, I'll get us out if this." "HOW?"  
  
"Well, Squall got out of here." "ALMOST DIE." "Well, I mean, you gotta live life on the edge, right?" "SEIFER, STUPID." She repeated before curling on her side on her cot, facing the wall and away from him. Seifer shook his head. "Ungrateful little-" A hard black boot connected with his shins. Somehow Fujin could even kick him while lying down facing away from him. "Woman of many talents." Seifer muttered, rubbing his bruised leg. He laid down on his own crappy cot, a sour look on his face and his arms crossed on his broad chest.  
  
Hours later the cell door clanged open, startling the duo awake. A big man stood there, with seventy-five double chins and a gut the size of Fujin. "I am Commander Slaughter." He announced. Fujin stared at him, unimpressed. "Charming name." Seifer said. The commander glared at him over his chins. " I will not tolerate back talk! Drop and give me fifty!" "You can't be serious." Seifer moaned. "Do I look like the kind of person who fools around? Drop! Now!" Seifer shook his head in disbelief and sat off his cot and easily did the push- ups. The commander nodded. "Right! Now you are to follow me to the mess hall! We, well, you, I don't eat that stuff, will quickly dine there and them I will show you the workout yard and the shower rooms. You will report back here. Understood?" "Uh, sure." Seifer replied, standing up from his cot again and following Slaughter out. "You, too! Yes, woman!" The commander said, waving at Fujin to exit the cell. She did this slowly, first stretching and readjusting her eye patch with care. "Could you have taken any longer?" The commander barked. Fujin shrugged. "YES." He once again glared over his heaving chins, but then thought of his happy places and closed the door. "R-Right. Now, as I said, the mess hall." Fujin and Seifer followed him. The room was about twice the size of their cell, but was packed with the muscular (and quite sweaty) bodies of the other convicts. Only one, Fujin noted, was female.  
  
"Hey, scum!" The commander barked over the racket of the hall. "SILENCE, YOU OVERGROWN BEASTS!" Some were silence, but most just disregarded the angry bloated man. He reached into his coat and grabbed a mace can. He sprayed a little in the air, and quiet met the can's gas. "Right! We have two more worthless bags of flesh for you!" He then turned to Seifer and Fujin, who were both glaring at him for calling them "worthless bags of flesh". "These two are Seifer Almasy and. uh.."He stared at Fujin, obviously forgetting her name. "Quiet Evil Woma-CRACK!" The back of Fujin's hand connected with the commander's fleshy face. He staggered back, holding his nose, and Fujin wiped her hand on Seifer's overcoat.  
  
"HAD ENOUGH." Fujin said simply, her fierce eye staring deep into the commander's piggy ones. He began to back down from that glare, but then realize that that would mean she had won. With a very primal growl he pulled out a chain whip not unlike Quistis'. "You." He hissed, cracking the steel whip, "Are to obey me! I am your God as far as you are concerned! This is MY jail house, and your are MY inmate!" Fujin's eye still drilled into him, her face no different from when she had hit him. "A-and.umm. I am to be treated with utmost respect!" "YOU-" Fujin stopped for a moment, collecting her thoughts. The commander thought that this was a sign of her staggering and smiled. "Can't think of a good comeback after that, huh?! Now obey me, you waste of air!" He extended his flabby arm, raising the whip to strike Fujin. She only rolled her eye and as the chains fell down, easily caught it. "You are a fool." She said, her voice quieter than usual but also smooth and as cold as ice. "You have grown fat and slow, and have no true control over your own body. If you think you can command hundreds of men who are more powerful than you, you are wrongly mistaken. And if you as much raise a fleshy finger at me, I shall snap it off quick like the fat twig it is." As to make her point she pulled on the whip with her lithe arms, causing to first shudder and then break. There was a cry of approval by the other convicts, and Fujin shook her head from the notice of the sheer cheesiness the moment contained. "SILENCE!" She cried, and every voice stopped midsentence. Seifer, meanwhile, was rubbing his beloved overcoat against the wall. "I can't believe you rubbed your hand on this! Who knows what might be on that man's face, and now it's on my COAT!"  
AN: lol this was fun to write XD you know the drill.if you liked the story review and I'll most definitely continue, fast as a hippo can swim! (Which, I mean, dude, hippos can like.swim.fast.. yo) So um, R/R pwease! Oh, and sorry for bad grammar ^__^* 


End file.
